do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize