Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im holly from the hills drunk
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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