I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
