Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
