are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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