Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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