it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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