btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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