can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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