It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
