I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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