it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
