bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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