i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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