Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
