dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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