I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
