You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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