Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's blow job season.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
