How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
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She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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