she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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