I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
