I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
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So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
soo... how was my night?
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