I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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