fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Holy sore nipples Batman
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
