You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
