my sisters under your porch take her home
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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