i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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