I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize