think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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