who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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