i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
