It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize