You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
