Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
