ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
