I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
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and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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