So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
