if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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