they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
