just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
