C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
