if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
