I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
