Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
