YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
