I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
