I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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