My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
