I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
