yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
