I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
