Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize