He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
