Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
