What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
