i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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