He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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