He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
