Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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