I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
