So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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