she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize