i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
