woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
