everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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