she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
