Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
