so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
