Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You were trust falling into bushes
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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